[ Germaine had not taken solace in suddenly finding herself alone, back at her Paris hotel, removed once more from Adèle who goes where Adèle must go, and who is she to begrudge the other woman her freedoms. Merely because her own are so limited.
No, it wasn't solace, but the sudden solitude in the wake of their renewed intimacy gave her time to think, thinking being, naturally, what Germaine Dupont did best, her mind the only place still free to her.
Thus, she allows herself a couple of hours of reading and rereading the letter delivered to her, before sitting down to pen a reply. ]
My dearest Adèle,
If I were to wait until I have words to describe the emotions currently filling me, you would no doubt wait for days to come, and I could not leave you in such limbo, possibly. Not after you have known my body like this. My mind -- you have always known my mind, I have given it to you from our first encounter.
I give my mind to many people, you must understand, it is the arena in which I fight for my independence and personhood, but my body, Adèle. I have never given my body to anyone before. Yet, now it is yours. Please treat it with the same care you did today, until you no longer find that I deserve such considerations.
You have spoiled me. I believe I might have gotten used to being known, if not by anyone else, then by you. As I sit here, writing these words, I realise it is my way of repeating yours back at you. I miss you. I miss the feeling you give me, of complete understanding.
I miss your hands, knowing me.
What I do not miss is the fear you have also planted me, although I believe the root of it is my own, that owning something will result in losing it. I have lost many things in my life; my parents, my freedom, my source of income and my source of self-respect. I shan't ask you to assure me that I won't lose you as well, but know - any future loss that awaits me because of my choice today, I shall never regret it.
no subject
No, it wasn't solace, but the sudden solitude in the wake of their renewed intimacy gave her time to think, thinking being, naturally, what Germaine Dupont did best, her mind the only place still free to her.
Thus, she allows herself a couple of hours of reading and rereading the letter delivered to her, before sitting down to pen a reply. ]
My dearest Adèle,
If I were to wait until I have words to describe the emotions currently filling me, you would no doubt wait for days to come, and I could not leave you in such limbo, possibly. Not after you have known my body like this. My mind -- you have always known my mind, I have given it to you from our first encounter.
I give my mind to many people, you must understand, it is the arena in which I fight for my independence and personhood, but my body, Adèle. I have never given my body to anyone before. Yet, now it is yours. Please treat it with the same care you did today, until you no longer find that I deserve such considerations.
You have spoiled me. I believe I might have gotten used to being known, if not by anyone else, then by you. As I sit here, writing these words, I realise it is my way of repeating yours back at you. I miss you. I miss the feeling you give me, of complete understanding.
I miss your hands, knowing me.
What I do not miss is the fear you have also planted me, although I believe the root of it is my own, that owning something will result in losing it. I have lost many things in my life; my parents, my freedom, my source of income and my source of self-respect. I shan't ask you to assure me that I won't lose you as well, but know - any future loss that awaits me because of my choice today, I shall never regret it.
Never.
Yours in sincerity,
Germaine